To the grumpy lady at Forever 21, a note from Liz

People are gruuumpy around the holidays for goodness sakes.  Standing in line at Forever 21 (yes, that store), arms aching as I ready myself to buy piles of Chinese and Indian-made goodness, I ask a woman standing off to the side, holding a gift card”Are you in line?”

She turns with a disdainful swerve.  “Yes, I am.”  And then turns back to pretending I don’t exist.

I felt it then.  A small spot in my soul enlarged slightly, a pocket of negative energy.  Who did she think she was?  Should I have just pushed in front of her?  How could asking her whether it was the back of the line be such an invasion of her space?  I shifted uncomfortably behind her, the pre-menopausal stress and sweat rising with each passing moment.  She turned on her heel without acknowledgement and strode off leaving me with a little more toxicity than I had before.  Grrrr.

You are a compilation of energy, some good and some not so good.  The good stuff warms your belly, those memories of good times, a sense of purpose, a feeling of love and appreciation.  The bad stuff is just as powerful, thoughts of disbelief and concern, a sense of self-hatred, a misstep, general exhaustion.  Everyone has a day or two filled with negative energy.  You fight a lose battle on those days, the worries and stresses and potholes overshadow any excitement about the future.

What do you do on those days?

• Do you give in, the dark stress slowly hardening until you are completely paralyzed?
• Perhaps you bury the anxiety under positive platitudes.  The sun will come out tomorrow?  You sure about that?
• Maybe you like to play pretend.  You don’t need to be positive because it’s all fine.  Nothing bothers you.  That is until you feel like you want to poke someone’s eye out with a pen.
• Production may be the key to your game.  Run, run, run, only to find your fast moving feet were shuffling expertly on moving ground, reduced to a hapless hamster.

You can’t outsmart concentrated stress in your life.  But there is one thing.

You can dilute it.  Just as you would dilute a concentrated liquid, you can dilute your negative thoughts.

Imagine a quarter cup of something bitter, one of those cough syrups you used to dread when you were a kid.  That is your stress.  You try to swallow it and as it passes through the back of your tongue and slithers down the back of your throat, you want to gag, your eyes squinched in pain.  You don’t have to force the stress down to your stomach; why not spread it out, dilute it with something easier to take in?

• Plan to think what you believe.   I have a phrase from the Bible painted on my wall in my study.  It reads, “more than you can ask or imagine.”  There are days when I am so afraid my dream is slipping away and sometimes all I have to do is look up and just let go.
• Bring kindness into your life.  I just threw a birthday party for my friend and I spent about five hours making her Indian food.  There is something so gratifying about serving someone else with your talents.
• Choose to remember what is good in your life.  I have a box of pictures, funny pictures of when I was young and fancy free, my wedding pictures, silly pictures of my children.   For those moments when I need a visual reminder of what is right in my life.

How do you dilute the concentrated negative energy?  You don’t need to roll over and accept the darkness.  It will always be there.  Just dilute it a bit so you can still feel the joy and find the energy to move on to something better.

Look for more inspiration from Liz by watching Life Dare TV!  Don’t be afraid, try a challenge of your own with the 30 Days of You community.  Or, book Liz as a speaker for your organization with Nead Inspiration!