Me, Better Home & Gardens, and the Mushy Banana Memorization Game

On paper, it looked like an amazing day.  I was the talent, letting you in on culinary secrets of the Better Homes & Gardens test kitchen.  Framed by the clean, white granite and chrome, I dipped my crunchy pita chip into a fluffy, creamy crab dip while the detailed Main Dish media crewexamined the shiny purple of a blueberry pie, bent over

the way you see the chefs on food shows.  Peter the camera guy and the New York rep bantered with Mary Kate the makeup artist who carefully kept watch on the shine on my nose and a few wayward hairs.

My commission was simple:  memorize a few lines and deliver them with confidence, dipped in a bit of sass.  Thanks to the dedication of my mom and dad, the process comes naturally to me.  My summer vacations as a child were split between memorizing Bible verses and bike riding.  Psalm 119 is broken up into eight-verse increments.  I would read through the passage a few times, hold it loosely in my brain just long enough to deliver it with conviction and then escape into the bright unknown of the neighborhood.

Today was somehow a different story.  Every line eroded my confidence.  The group was harried, minute by minute falling behind their ambitious schedule.  As I absorbed their stress, I moved into people-pleaser mode.  I decided not to leave the room and repeat the lines aloud, opting to say the words in my head.  As I opened my mouth, the words floated out, unanchored, jumbled up and uncertain.  “The bubbles explode and dance across the surface of the pie.”  I felt a muscle in my eye twitch and I wondered whether the crew could see it.

The New York rep spoke up from her perch on a crate in the corner.  “I think it’s dance and explode.  The bubbles would first dance and then explode.”  The twitch receded, replaced by a feeling I was sinking slowly into a pool of failure.

“Let me try it again,” tinged with apology rather than sass.  Mumbling and fumbling each line, I found myself grateful the red hot was masked by my brown skin.  The day would never end.

I drove home berating myself, embarrassed.  I let the group down.  Where did my magical powers of memorization go?  Awkward.  And I had one more interminable day left and seven videos to finish.  I felt deflated.

When I arrived the next day, I was calm but minus my usual mojo.  I still didn’t know what I had done wrong.  I read over the notes as I sat in the makeup chair, wondering how I would get through the day.  First up, banana bread.  I walked out of the studio and marched back and forth in front of the craft service table repeating the lines, experimenting with various inflections.  FIRST YOU NEED MUSHY BANANAS.  REALLY MUSHY BANANAS.  The camera guy peeked around the corner.  “We’re ready to go.”  I felt the rushed feeling and defeat began to set in.

“I’m not ready.  Tell them I need a few more minutes to get the lines right.”  I grabbed the tail end of my mojo before it disappeared entirely.  “I’ll be in there soon.”  I marched back and forth a few times more, simultaneously self-coaching and chanting about bananas.  If I was hired to deliver these lines for seven videos, that’s what I would do, in the way that worked for me.

Banana bread, red velvet cake, spinach dip.  Smiling in the camera, tilting my head, the lines smoothly leaving  my brain and floating towards the smiling crew.  Each time they waited for me to march, the craft service danish growing stale, the ice water slowly melting.  I returned to the room as Super-Liz, memorization master.

Has that ever happened to you?  You are in a hurry and you don’t want to inconvenience anyone.  Or, you are embarrassed at your methods and you take a short cut.  You want to rewrite your manual, and instead of paying off, the whole thing backfires.  Instead of changing your game, why not master it?

• Take a breath and remember your guidelines.  Your brain and your body work a certain way.  Honor it.
• Don’t be rushed or enticed to try to change your guidelines in the moment.  For instance, if you remember things better when you write it down, then for goodness sakes just do it.  It might slow you down  momentarily but in the long run you will be more effective.
• Don’t be embarrassed by your methods.  Believe in what works for you.

I spoke to Sara, one of the Main Dish employees and it turns out she didn’t really notice the difference between day 1 and 2.  But I did and on that day, I learned my lesson.  Success will only come from playing this instrument called LIZ the way it was meant to be.

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