Life Change: Saying Goodbye to Lake Oaks Drive.

I had a milestone Life Change this week:  I had to say goodbye Lake Oaks Drive.  It was thirty years ago.  I was eleven, almost twelve.  We were moving across town to what I considered the mecca, a newly built house with an “upstairs!” The clean paint, freshly cut wood, aromas of stain, lake access- it tantalized me.  Lake Oaks Drive:  the

new beginning of my amazing life.

Of course my life would have transformed with or without that house but the Lake Oaks Drive home was my home base for change.  Adolescence, two piece swimsuits and new friends were waiting for me.  Every time I stepped from the driveway, ran down the street and turned on to Lexington avenue, I became a little faster.  I celebrated birthdays.  I rebelled against my parents.  I snuck out.  I stayed out.  I ran back.  I walked through the front door with boyfriends, husbands, children.  Each time I walked out, I would return with a little more history.  This week marks the end of it all.  I’ll never be able to drive up and stroll in the front door, greeted by streams of luxurious curries.  It’s someone else’s turn.

According to Psychology Today, my strong connection to Lake Oaks Drive was no accident.  We get nostalgic don’t we, particularly over those elementary school memories.    Change can be such a tricky thing.  I don’t want to be 12 again

or move in with my parents.  So what’s the problem?  Why so sad?

Unfinished business.  It could be that you left your story before writing those last few pages of closure.    My childhood home was/ is a place of security and rebellion.  Vivid are the moments I yearned to leave.  Now I wish I had been more grateful.  I sort of want to “show” my house that I have found my way.

You miss something about your past.  It’s odd to think you can never go back, particularly if  you have memories of greatness and freedom.  Lake Oaks Drive represents an unwritten future when everyone believed in my potential.

It’s familiar.  I can walk through that home with my eyes clothes, in the door, up the stairs and into the kitchen, fridge in the corner.  The new home doesn’t know me; I won’t belong.  Their house was my constant, linen closets full of a rainbow array with towels and the mothball and cedar smell in the basement.  Now it’s gone.  It’s sort of a death of

an era.

I have moved many times since that maiden voyage in 1981, but my parents didn’t.  The reality is in this fast-changing world, it’s a privilege to have such a sense of place.  I don’t need to change my fondness for Lake Oaks Drive, but I am going to change my thoughts from longing to empowerment.  Here’s the plan:

Think change shows you the legacy.

  Clearly, there are things I love about the experience that made that house my childhood home.  I want to pass that on to all the people that pass through my home.  Kindness, integrity, hospitality, love.  I can’t keep the home but I can keep the legacy.

Think change is for resolution. 

The house on Lake Oaks Drive may belong to someone else but it will exist in my mind and that’s where the remnants of my past live as well.  I have some sadness I never appreciated my time there.    To be sure, my parents were strict but I

never for wanted for anything, I just didn’t realize it.  However, I can resolve it by enjoying the time I have with my parents now, no matter where they live.

Think change brings out gratitude. 

If you miss something, a person, a place, you are a lucky individual.   As I drive away from my childhood home, I’m leaving with beautiful memories of love and legacy.  I will always remember it.

What memories are you struggling to release?  Is there an ending you are dreading?  Tell me about it!