I got mad at my Best Friend’s Boyfriend!

I love my Best Friend, my sister from another mother. But since we are not related, it’s like playing catch over a canyon with your heart. It’s easy to feel afraid when things become difficult. I admit I was harboring some stress. There is no mystery that Best Friend’s Boyfriend and I rubbed each other the wrong way. We were both classic oldest children: intense, driven and opinionated. And we loved Best Friend. Holding it in was exhausting. I talked myself out of what I saw.

I pretended it didn’t matter.

I talked to others who reassured me that I was overthinking things. Until one day, I had reached my limit.

It wasn’t his fault, really. The circumstances of this moment were embarrassingly trivial; we were at a bowling alley. But I went to bed angry and woke up on an anxiety treadmill. Why?

Because I knew I was going to have to tell him.

I was over halfway through my Making Room Challenge. I knew that Making Room involved clearing out the crap in my head. But I really didn’t want to clear out THIS crap. What if my Best Friend was offended? What if Best Friend’s Boyfriend was offended? What if I was imagining the whole thing? What if I was crazy?
On the other hand, what if I was right? What if I just needed to grow up and speak it like a real woman? What if I allowed the other person to have the information? What if I didn’t have to think about it anymore?
I e-mailed Best Friend’s Boyfriend at 7:00am the next day. As soon as hit “send,” I felt relaxed. I had Made Room! I immediately fell asleep. Here’s what I learned about letting go of stress and anger in your relationships.

1. Make sure your thought is worth expressing.

   Do you really need to talk about it, or should you

2. Just say it.

   If you need to express your feelings of discomfort, don’t hold it in. It’s NOT good for you.

3. Think kind.

   Allow yourself to think the best of the person before you send/ speak.

4. Be kind.

   No revenge; expressing yourself should be an act of kindness in the relationships.

5. Let the exercise only be about getting it out.

   Not getting someone to accept your view.

6. Let the other person have their opinion.

   Speaks for itself don’t ya think?

7. Let it go.

   Once you are done, you can’t punish yourself or anyone else for the same issue.

8. Now, look for the good.

   You’ve allowed the negative thoughts to leave your mind. Now it’s time to wait for the positive to roll in.

Best Friend’s Boyfriend responded later that day. His e-mail was surprisingly kind, revealing his own issues with my behavior. (Okay, I’m not perfect, either). A few weeks went by before we saw each other again. It was better. Making room for better.