Five things that masquerade as fear in your life

People often ask me about my coaching: “Are you a life coach or a business coach.”

I answer,

“I’m a business coach some of the time but I’m always a life coach because business is lists and check boxes but your life force always makes an appearance.”

Most people don’t want to appear fearful. When I suggest, you are just afraid of this, they respond with swift rejection: I’m not afraid, I’m just really busy.

No, my friend, you are never too busy to do what you believe to be true, you are just afraid.

Your fear is rarely dressed as Scooby Doo and his sidekick Shaggy, running frantically away from a perceived ghost.

Your fear doesn’t shiver under the covers, scared there is something really, really bad under the bed.

Your fear isn’t checked in to the Bates motel, waiting to stab you to death.

The fear that lurks in the dark corners of your middle class existence is much more crafty, masterfully distracting you from your best life while you are busy adulting. Once you get it, it’s easy to spot.

• Fear masquerading as martyrdom.

You aren’t afraid to travel to Australia—there’s a track meet tomorrow and your kidswould never forgive you. You should dust off your resume but what would they do without you at work? You are resigned to a full-time job as the manager of the universe with little to no time to give to your best life.

Let’s get real: You know the rules of your present. They might not allow you any freedom but at least you aren’t totally blind. Those ideas that keep popping up in your soul are point to a purpose-driven existence. Don’t be afraid. The world will not stop revolving if you step away. In fact, someone more suited might take your place, freeing you up to be a most excellent you.

• Fear masquerading as procrastination.

You aren’t afraid to get your taxes done, you just would prefer to do it tomorrow. Of course you want to start running, but you have a girls’ night planned. Eventually you will get to your best life. Your list keeps getting longer but this moment is never the right time.

Let’s get real: If you really understood the power of your best life, you wouldn’t put it off. But you are afraid you won’t be good enough so you put it off until tomorrow. That way you can keep the positive possibilities alive. Don’t be afraid. You may not get it perfect the first time, but you will always get it right if you act.

• Fear masquerading as confusion.

You aren’t afraid to write a blog post, but your website is just so difficult to navigate. Why wouldn’t you want to learn to edit a video—it would just be so much easier of the tool was clearly labeled. You seriously want to do new things but every time you begin, you are deterred by all the steps.

Let’s get real: You aren’t dazed and helpless. You are brilliant, evidenced by all that you accomplish for everyone else in your life of responsibility. There is a first time for everything and in those first steps, there is much to learn. Don’t be afraid. You have everything you need to detangle the unfamiliar. The confusion will melt away and confidence will stand in it’s place.

• Fear masquerading as overwhelm.

You aren’t afraid to start that business, you are just buried with all the options. It’s not that you don’t want to try that new live app, you just can’t figure out what you would talk about. Where would you start? As soon as the overwhelm piles up, you retreat to the ten activities you know how to do and you wait for the next inspiration to fly by.

Let’s get real: You aren’t overwhelmed. No one is asking you to fry some eggs while you drive down the stress. In fact, it’s impossible to do more than one thing at a time anyway. That feeling you have to do everything at once is a way to feel more comfortable doing nothing. Don’t be afraid. You’ll have plenty of energy to get it all done. That’s a sign you are living in your best life. Take the leap!

• Fear masquerading as distraction.

You aren’t afraid to get to the counselor to work on your marriage, you just love this Netflix marathon you are in and it’s making it easier to tolerate your partner. Any normal person would work on their budget, but you don’t want to get started until after the kids’ graduation party. The blue print for your best life is very clear—you know what to do— but it’s so much easier to do some of these inconsequential activities and wait for a better day.

Let’s get real: You are being distracted by candy when your life is crying out for something more substantial and you know it. One thing is true: your soul knows what is best and if you follow that process, you won’t need to disappear into alcohol, gossip or television series marathons. Don’t be afraid. The fun-levels in your your life will not go down forever. Just tend to these things that need attention and soon you will really feel the benefits of some of those diversions.

So, my friend, are you afraid?

Where does martyrdom, procrastination, confusion, overwhelm and distraction show up in your life. Don’t let fear make you look bad. You are better than this! Just face the mirror and see where anxiety has crept in. Forgive your shortcomings and give yourself a pep talk. This fork in the road will lead you to a better place. Choose well for yourself. And soon, you’ll wonder what took you so long!

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My invitation to you:

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