Faking Yourself Out! Three Lies and Barriers That Keep You From Transformation

We live in the country of Good n’ Plenty. You want it, you get it. Drive through, fast and furious, high quality in a matter of seconds.

Good news? You can have the life you want. Bad news? You can get the life you want and there ain’t nobody to blame but you.

We all know how to get it done. Imagine there is a door to transformation. You are standing on this side of something amazing but before you can experience the fullness life has to offer, you have to take a step (or series of steps) to access and experience your better life.  You want a job, fill out a resume. You want a better marriage, you get a therapist, read a self-help book, or work on managing your expectations. Want to lose weight? Drag yourself to gym! Eat less. Listen to Dr. Oz or get yourself some hormone replacement therapy

But for some reason, right at this moment, you feel stuck. You WANT to feel peace, but people just make you so mad. You WANT to move forward, but it seems the rest of the “world” doesn’t want you to. Transformation is at your fingertips and yet so far away. You are sitting in the middle of opportunity, but you have handcuffs on. Something is keeping you from walking through the door of transformation.  It’s not the resume or the trip to the doctor.  It’s as if you have walked up to the door and instead of opening it and walking through, you have taped an image of something or someone else on that door. Rather than working to move forward, you spend your time fighting mirages and demons. You have substituted the real barrier for another one- a fake barrier that can’t be solved and more importantly….

isn’t your fault.

Fake Barrier #1: The other person isn’t cooperating.

Your vision of you is productive, peaceful and enterprising and yet every time your partner loses her temper, lies to you or generally disappoints you, you find yourself sliding back into the same victim-oriented habits.

Walk through the door of transformation! The truth is your partner may never change, but you see the need for change in your own life. Stand up for yourself. Find your voice. Work to forgive. Ask forgiveness.  This moment of challenge is an opportunity to learn patience, creativity and strength. Open the door of transformation by depending on your partner to change before you do. Stop reacting and start living intentionally.

Fake Barrier #2: Your life is filled with really important priorities.

You know what you need to do (exercise, eat right, get to a therapist, update your resume) but in order to move forward you feel you will need to oust something really important in your life. You paint a difficult picture, in which you choose your children over exercising, food over paying for a therapist, cleaning out the fridge over updating your resume.

Oh this is so easy, you will wonder why it took you so long! The truth is, there is plenty of room for your best life. Test your theory in a small way to validate taking time for yourself might actually help your children. Leaving work an hour early will not cause your professional foundation to crumble. Take space for you and you will serve your life in a better way- without resentment or exclusion.

Fake Barrier #3: You just avoid certain things-  you are blind to the why, or it happened a long time ago.

So you dad was really mean. You had undiagnosed something as a child and now you’ll never catch up. You just made too many mistakes and you can’t seem to get past it. Whenever you hear someone minimize you or terrorize you, you retreat. You are a fully functional adult, on THIS side of the door of transformation.

Break free of your bonds! You are like the elephant with a rope on his leg, so certain the restraints are STILL the chains used in the beginning of your life. Just move. Don’t wait. The nutty mother, the unkind teacher, the persecuting childhood friend- they aren’t actually standing between you and your opportunities for transformation.

The truth is, transformation tends to come through fire and tests. Those barriers have power to change your life if you face them and move forward. Don’t let your brain fake you out. Name it, and move on by.

It’s so much better on the other side.

More about Fake Barrier’s from Liz’s Youtube Channel!