7 ways to convince yourself “this time the change is real.”

“I lost 60 pounds before and I gained it all back.”

“We’ve had a good time on vacation. It’s when we get back the real test begins.”

“I had a business back in the 90’s and it wasn’t successful.”

As you stand of the brink of your 180, no matter what YOU think about how unlikely and difficult a change will be in your life, I already know you can change.

There are two reasons:

First, if I can change, you can change. After thirty years of completely self-destructive behavior, I changed my life. There was no intervention. In fact, it just wasn’t that dramatic. I just stepped into action and kept up those aligning actions until I started to experience change. I didn’t deserve it, I promise you. But it happened anyway.

Second, if you are a human, you can change. Transformation is a constant and inevitable process. You can’t stop time. You certainly can’t turn back time. Our time on this planet is a measured and unstoppable march to the only real finish line that is the last day of your life.

I get where you are coming from, recounting your sad stories when you lost your innocence. You thought “this would be it” and then it wasn’t. It turns out as quickly as you changed for the good, you can change for the worse.

And you don’t want to believe it anymore. You don’t want to get hurt. You don’t want to hope and experience disappointment. You don’t want to let the people down in your life.

It’s a catch-22. You don’t to foolishly buy into something that isn’t happening. But you are also experiencing exactly what you believe to be true. So which comes first? Transformation or belief?

You don’t need to convince yourself. You just want your 180 to “feel real.” I get that. But I’m also here to tell you the change is happening. It’s right there! You simply need to tune into the changes under the surface and in time, everyone will see what you see.

I get it’s no easy task, so here are 7 things you can do to SEE, EXPERIENCE and there for convince yourself your 180 transformation is here to stay.

The change is real strategy #1: Don’t create finish lines!

Finish lines provide a very real function for change. Short-term change, that is. It’s a carrot to moving forward and serves as a definition of your relative failure or success.

Lose 10 pounds before the wedding.

Stay married for 20 years.

Finish a marathon.

Pay off your car.

They are clear. They are simple. And you know when you have gotten there.

I do believe in the power and purpose of vision (see last week’s blog post) but the finish line does one very bad thing. As juicy and tantalizing it may be to achieve your goal, it also reduces the power of THIS moment, because it’s not THAT moment. And you won’t be convinced until your now resembles the finish line.

Leave your unhealthy love/hate relationship with the finish line and start living in the power of your now. Transformation doesn’t occur on a grand straight line upward. Every moment has a purpose.

Learning how to act, or not to act.

Understanding the power of your resilience and tapping into that strength.

Identifying and mastering the influencers in your life.

You may never reach your finish line. But good days are filled with steps toward your best life, no matter what. A life of reaching for something better is a good life. And likely to be a changed and improved life.

The change is real strategy #2: Keep your 180 intrinsic and doable.

Humans tend to start the journey to their purpose for an external reason.

Someone to approve of them.

To fit in.

To stop someone or something from hurting them.

Yet those circumstances never seem to give you the pay off you need and deserve. How often have you finally achieved something only to find out it did not have the result you hoped for. After every transformation is another opportunity for change.

Your transformation must be intrinsically driven. What does that mean? It means you would do it anyway. Even if no one ever saw you do it. Even if it inconveniences someone else (the horrors!). But if it comes from inside, you will get to a place where you believe in the change more quickly. Otherwise if you don’t get approval, if someone isn’t watching, if you heaven forbid choose the actions that actually don’t change the circumstances and you will want to stop. Your BELIEF has to be in the power of doing good for you and your world.

The change is real strategy #3: List out the proof.

When it comes to my own life, I’m my own worst customer. I’m perpetually in the place of “show me the money.” Your change cannot last if you don’t have a fundamental grace about noticing what has happened. Make a point of capturing the proof the change is underway. It’s your life, so you will be the first to know when a change happens. You can take an extra step or feel a waistband a little looser. An extended period of joy. An ease in an area that once was difficult. Don’t dismiss those places of proof.

The most encouraging thing ever is to allow yourself to see the change and believe it. Because from what you believe, more will grow.

The change is real strategy #4: Allow yourself to fail.

A 180 transformation relies on chances. The more chances you have, the more you try, the more you learn, the more likely a change is taking place. For instance, if you want to get better at sales, you’ll have to get out there and try. You’ll try different people, ways of saying things, products and if you keep trying and learning from what you are doing, you will eventually find success. Or that you don’t want to sell anymore.

So if you are committed to living a 180 life, change your definition of failure and start thinking that you are simply changing. When you are pointing towards your dream, and acting in alignment, you are actually succeeding.

Whatever you do, don’t allow a perceived failure to go into a box in your head titled, “looks like this change isn’t real.” As long as you hustling for the change, transformation is happening.

The change is real strategy #5: Admit what you don’t know and then start learning.

In my experience as a life and business coach, one of the most significant barriers to transformation is the individual insistence they already know what to do. Usually this comes from their age; someone in their 60’s who thinks they should already know how to be in a long term romantic relationship, how to raise kids, how to get fit, how to get out there and sell.

Transformation grows from seeds of humility. You will experience (isn’t that what we want) the changes when you open yourself to learning.

So ask the questions, try the new thing, imitate, dig in and find out why. Not only will you experience growth but you will believe it’s happening. Because you didn’t know something and now you do. And we all know when you know better you tend to do better.

The change is real strategy #6: Quit being your own worst frenemy.

The worst people in the world are the ones that bring up all the other failures when someone is trying.

Are you being the worst person for yourself? Don’t do it my friend. Instead, use that list of proof I asked you to create. Give yourself credit for all the times you have tried before. It will lead to more chances and a much more enjoyable relationship with yourself.

The change is real strategy #7: Know that it doesn’t matter.

When we approach a 180, we create this big, huge story lines and success and chances and worthiness.

Reality check? If you can draw breathe in your lungs, you deserve to change. It is part of your right as a human being. Don’t worry about whether the world is on board with your changes. Just DO the thing and reap the rewards. Your psyche and the rest of the planet will eventually catch on.

It doesn’t matter if you ever change. It doesn’t matter if you make the biggest transformation of your life. Don’t get so melodramatic. Trust me, once you get into a position where you are ready to help others, you’ll see there is much bigger fish to fry!

What can I say? Your transformation is underway. From the moment you are born until your last breathe, you are changing and growing in SOME direction. Stop making it so hard on yourself. Be your own best friend. Encourage and believe and hope for any good action and resulting change. It’s the right thing to do and you deserve the best life you can live on this planet.

Here’s to your 180! If you are not part of the 180 Life Group Coaching Experience, I invite you to join right now! 

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