Are your RULES holding you back?

The first thing I have to figure out when I begin a coaching relationship is the “rules” my client uses to live their life. These rules usually were created 20 years ago or more, created by their parents, their teachers in high school (if we are lucky, sometimes earlier) and their most positively or negatively impactful supervisors. I’ve got a nose for rules when they say:

·     I’m just not the networking type.

·     That technology thing isn’t for me.

·     I have to come in a 6 a.m. every morning and I can’t leave until it’s dark out.

·     I don’t have time to work out.

·     I’m a loyal person. I feel bad leaving.

The success of our work together largely depends on whether my lovely client is ready to let go of the rules that hold their life in place, to opt for strategies that will create the life they want.

I think rules are important. They help you make micro-decisions every day. Why not challenge the outdated rules that worked for you a few decades ago and create strategies that will support your most successful reality? Here are four categories to think about:

Rules about Balance.

Don’t wait until your boss asks you to stay late to choose between your daughter’s soccer game and your career. Succumbing to the greatest pressure in any given moment is not exactly the best strategy for a happy life. Here are the two indestructible truths. Everything is important and you are not indispensable. Choose ahead of time.

Create a rules that support your health, your relationships and your career. Who knows, you may get a workout in, see that soccer game and conquer your to-do list all in the same day.

Rules about Communication.

Everyone wants to be a nice person but as technology drives instant communication, planning just might save you from accidentally revealing some of your inner smarminess. Choose to speak your weightiest words in person. Don’t allow the tantalizing stream of political diatribes sweep you into meaningless arguments. Teach yourself how to express yourself effectively to those different from you.

A solid set of rules about communication will NOT leave you with regret as you lay your head on your pillow. Sounds nice, right?

Rules about Excellence.

You can’t guarantee the quality of your ride into work today, the mood of your boss or the effort of your co-workers. What you can count on is your own commitment to doing your best, no matter what the circumstances.

Don’t get hung up on results—winning looks very different from day to day, instead focus on intensity, consistency, focus and intention. It’s will be almost impossible to fail.

Rules about Growth.

I’m sorry to tell you think, but the days of a finish line went by the wayside with gold watches and fifty-year retirement parties. The only thing you can really count on is you have to keep growing and learning. Am I right? You can’t walk into an office or run a business without being hit with a new app or process guaranteed to “make it easy” for everyone. Your old rule, “be fearful of anything new” might not be serving you very well right now. Change it up and embrace the unfamiliar. You can always decide it’s not for you, but at least you won’t be the dinosaur who still doesn’t know how to text.

Push yourself through education, training, and challenging situations and you will never go out of style.

You got this!

Here’s a framework for self-coaching for you. If something isn’t working for you, change it. If you have established rules that keep you from changing what isn’t working, change those. Your life is meant to be productive and enjoyable —don’t let old strategies get in the way of your best life.

If you are interested in digging deeper and creating rules for your best life, check out the 100 Day Journey. It’s an on-demand classroom with 14 no cost/ low cost strategies that work like a million.

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Meet Liz Nead

A speaker, coach and television host, Liz Nead is an expert in Bringing Life Back to Everyday Life. Her passion, Nead Inspiration is impacting the lives of thousands with life coaching, magazine articles, public speaking and life improvement television. She directs and hosts an Emmy Nominated television show called Life Dare which aired on Fox five days a week. Life Dare is an “unscripted” show inviting people to learn from experts and take a “challenge” to bring the lesson to life.

She has authored several best selling books, The 100 Day Journey, Curry Up, an ethnic cookbook, The 180 Life, and 20 Beautiful Women. Her work has been featuredranked on Buzzfeed and reviewed by the Huffington Post. She blogs for Huffington Post and She Knows. Liz is a skilled story-teller and teacher, most recently climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro and competing in the Iowa Strongman Games. Whether she is climbing a mountain, flipping 300 pound tires, producing an award winning television, or conducting experiences in her personal life, her audiences learns valuable lessons to build an influential life.

Her clients include the National Guard, the YWCA, University of Phoenix, Society for Human Resource Management, Principal Financial, the Oregon Women’s Conference. She also helps speakers from all over the world bring their message to the stage.Elizabeth has a BS in Political Science and an MPA, creating several popular CD’s, including Creating Inspired Vision and the Live Big Project.

She also balances her passion-driven career with a busy family life, raising seven kids in a blended family with her husband, a retired Army Major.