Oprah’s never coming! Five reasons you aren’t getting what you want.

 

“Boy that vision thing works for you, Liz.”

A triumphant statement lined with a real message. You somehow are achieving most of your dreams. But it may not work that way for the rest of us. We all want things and we don’t get them.

I created my first vision board in 2008, in the midst of a national financial crisis held parallel to the Great Depression. I was a broken mistake, living out my days in contrition, trying to make up all that I had done wrong. Only a small molecule of my soul felt worth of the dreams I pasted and taped on the clean side of an old poster board I found under my daughter’s bed.

And 119 days later, my life was transformed. Literally (sorry for the use of this word my literary friends). But, literally everything change and never returned to it’s broken state.

I am not special. We are not different. I simply embraced the true laws of a purpose-driven life. They are available to all of us, anyone who is still in the process of living and dying.

“Then why isn’t it working for me?” you ask.

Well there are a few reasons but they are not for lack of personal power. Accept this. You are your superman. You are your superwoman. You have infinite capabilities to achieve your purpose on this planet. You might be working against yourself. Let’s take a look under the hood and see what needs an adjustment.

Your vision isn’t clear.

You know you want to speak in front of millions, but when you are asked what you talk about or who you are talking to or the general vicinity of the stage—a pause Thousands…you stumble and mumble. Did I mention thousands?

Clarity is part of powerful vision. There is an inverse relationship between the crispness of your dream and the fear you experience when you peer into the future. The more you can see and feel about your best life, the less fearful you must be. Of course that nasty apprehension is like an incorrect set of glasses, making even the best scenario blurry and ominous.

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Use this mental guidance to get clear on your vision!

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So what can you do? Just lean into it.

Dust off the awe-inspiring tool that is your imagination. For just a moment, release the probabilities and likelihoods and just see what could be yours. Dreams require no explanation: the sports camp for underprivileged children, the climb to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, a cottage on Monterey beach are all possible. If 30,000 people can climb to the roof of Africa each year, why not you?

Find out how much, where, who is with you and what will change. Get the details. Who knows, you may want to take those first steps.

You have opposing goals:

If there is one sign that tips me off to the presence of fear, it is the “opposing goals” excuse. I can’t dig into my business until the kids go to college. Once I pay off this bill, I’ll think about what I want. If only my parents were in better health, I’d have more time for that. You paint yourself the saint, begrudgingly giving up your best life for those that depend on you.

This purpose-driven path is not narrow and disclusive. There is room for all that is good in your life. Your dream to become a painter does not have to wait until you are an empty-nester. There is a way to make that last payment on your car and take that trip of a lifetime. Your sanity, your relationships, your health can will all co-exist with your dreams.

So what can you do? Here’s the first thing: stop making pre-emptive sacrifices.

Yes there are trade-offs, but hold off on the trade until it’s right in front of you. When the fork in the road rises up to meet you, seek the light of your calling. It will illuminate those next few steps. You’ll know what to do. I promise.

You lie to yourself—a lot.

You have a vision but it’s just that. A picture in your head of something nice you would have if you didn’t live your life. You don’t have time. It’s not your thing. You are doing fine. For some reason, it feels easier to pretend everything is okay than it is to admit it’s not what you want and then move forward until it’s better. Marriages are lost this way. Pounds gained. Opportunities missed. I’m fine. I don’t need that. Whatever.

Truth is the primary currency of your wildest dreams. Lying, otherwise known as pretending everything is fine when it’s not, is like using a map to reach a destination but choosing an alternate location rather than where you are right now. That’s right—you simply won’t get there. Or if you do, it will be only partially and incidentally fulfilling.

So what can you do? Treat yourself with the kindness and respect you would anyone else.

Stop the untruths. Expect the best. Accept the self-reflection and brutal honesty necessary to begin the journey to the top of your mountain. Start where you are. It’s the only way to get where you want to go.

You just wish Oprah would find you already.

The Oprah effect is referring to the frenzy of sales that occurs when Oprah mentions a product and a service. Ever since her favorite things left audience-members frothing on the ground in excitement, people have wished for the magic genie to whisk their problems away. It happens, right? The surprise remodel, the big check, the dissolution into happy tears and wonderment. It’s like magic. No, it’s like Oprah.

The practical misconception about life’s journey is the heavy weight placed on the ending. That moment when all the dreams become daily life. Of course I want to fast forward the sometimes clunky process to my best self. I want to wake up every day pinching myself. Is this real? Could it be true? But anyone who has reached the impossible dream will tell you it’s not what you think it is. Yes, it’s amazing and wonderful but it’s also no less or more important than every day before. Every step in the process is vital, burning out what doesn’t serve you and increasing your strength

So what can you do? Picture Oprah or Ellen or Tony Robbins and everything that could happen if they paid your bill to the universe and granted you everything you could ever want. Then, swap the genie of your choice with YOU.

Imagine you have all the power. Imagine you have all the resources. Imagine you hold all the power in your destiny, and get to work. What would you do right now if Oprah made your life? Start there. What would you do next? Fit that into your plan. Accept your role as the greatest current in your own life. Because that is the truth.

You don’t believe in it.

Your now is so vivid. The drip-drip-drip of the leaky faucet. The sweat that pools between your rolls of fat. The stack of unpaid bills. Your fun Friday-night friends that would never understand why you want to leave this place. The calming rest of a check deposited bi-weekly. In contrast, your visions feel like a fantasy. Impossible and almost ego-driven. You can see it but the improbability wipes it away. Too many people live one way. It’s hard to imagine having the strength or courage to live differently.

Vision is most certainly real. Even the wealthiest and most accomplished cannot hand down certain success to their children. You have to chose something and live towards it. The truth is you are living out a sort of vision right now. You bought the house you thought you needed. You applied for the job you felt was right. You go on vacations that fall within the radius of acceptability. Your love interest, your hobbies, your personal appearance all reflects your vision. So if vision is a life-process— you see, you choose, you act, you experience—why not a vision that stems from your best life?

So what can you do? Accept the laws of vision.

It’s as much yours as it is the richest and poorest in this world we live in. It’s not fake. It’s not childish. It’s just life. Start living it!

I have a vision that drives me. I begin my presentations with an image of my dad who chose to envision his immigrants journey to the United States at age 14. I speak of his ingenuity and visionary sense, impacting everyone he touched. One of the final slides in each of my presentations is a dear image of my twin boys, aged fourteen. I envision a day when one of my children speak about my journey. How I inspired them to take leaps and pursue greatness. That they have no choice but to be amazing, given the investments of their great-grandparents, grandparents, parents.

Every day doesn’t feel the same. As I write this blog I wonder who will read it, whether it really matters. But I cling to what I know:

• I embrace the clarity of my vision.

• I believe all that I want will fit together in alignment.

• I cling to the truth no matter how ugly.

• I take my place as the Oprah in my own life.

• I believe with all my heart in the current of vision flowing in my life.

And I write.