What’s your problem? The difference between challenges and problems…
I got problems, man!
I have problems. Lots of problems. My husband is fourteen years older than me. I have
seven children and there are problems associated with each one. The oldest lives far away and I’m not sure how to really connect with her. The youngest seems to have developed a fear of challenges. Would you like to hear more? Here’s another problem. I have a beautiful television show and I’m trying to figure out how to get it to a national audience from little old Des Moines without taking out any loans or selling off my concept. I have so much to do and not enough time. The problems go on and on.
My biggest problem is functioning with all the problems. I understand barriers are a part of life. No matter how good someone else’s life looks from the outside, DIFFERENT PERSON: DIFFERENT SET OF ISSUES. Changing locations doesn’t work either. DIFFERENT LOCATION, SAME YOU WITH ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. So should we give up and just drown in all of these persistent problems?
Author and philosopher Ekhart Tolle answers the this question so beautifully!
So challenges exist, but problems are mind-made. Challenges are something that can only be tackled in the present moment and require action.
Problem manufacturing
Let’s mull this over. PROBLEMS ARE MIND MADE. I’ve taken a few “problems” expressed by the 30 Days of You community to think about.
- A dating problem: You want to find love but you can’t find the time to date
What's your problem? and you have children to consider.
- A money problem: You need money to keep your business going but with the recession you are not sure how you will ever find someone who will finance you.
- A health problem: You know you need to live a healthier lifestyle but your job keeps you traveling and when you get home, you are too exhausted to do anything but rest.
- A marriage problem: You aren’t getting along with your spouse and there have been so many fights you don’t know how you are going to forgive him or her.
- A career problem: You have worked with the same company for 18 years. Even though you want to branch out and explore other companies or even other careers, you aren’t sure you should risk the financial security you have right now. Additionally, if anyone at your company finds out you have been looking, it won’t be good for you.
It’s not that the problems aren’t based in certain realities. There are marriages and careers and credit
scores, very real marriages and careers and credit scores to consider. But the problem isn’t related to the MOUNTAIN. Yes, the mountain looks huge and impossible. It’s how you feel about the mountain that creates the problem. It’s the rest of the story that create issues for us.
Do you recognize a problem when you see it?
- They are in your head: Problems are not-very-pleasant fantasies that exist in your head. There may be a career or a marriage or a bank account. The problem is created in your interpretation of the situation, whether you think things are going well or not. Most adults treat these interpretations as cold hard truth of our life and act accordingly.
- They are based on assumptions about the past and future: Can you see the assumptions in each of the problems I listed out? Our mind has created full blown risk-analysis flow charts to protect us from being hurt.
- They are fear based: You are afraid. Or you would haven’t a problem. What are you afraid of? You are afraid you won’t like your new job as much as your old job. You are afraid you will never find love. You are afraid your business will fold and you will be humiliated. You are held in place by fear.
Challenge Manufacturing
Now let’s get to the challenges. Ekhart Tolle explained that problems are man-made but challenges can be physically dealt with. Take a look at your mountain. The problem is you don’t know if you have the strength to get over it. The challenge is that you have to get around it somehow.
Let’s take each of the problems and turn them into challenges with action steps.
- The no-time-have-children CHALLENGE: a) Tell your friends you want to start dating again and be ready to get set up or go on an online dating service, which takes a total of twenty minutes. b) Go on a date when asked, which may take a few hours of an evening or even an hour for a coffee (more if you like what you see). c) Don’t bring the date around your children until you are ready.
- The bad-time-to-finance-a-business-CHALLENGE: a) Create a budget/ financial statement
Are you willing to break it down into steps? that clearly depicts your business’ potential. b) Meet with an expert and ask them to look over your work. c) Go to several lenders to find out what is available. You don’t know until you ask, right? OR- start saving a set amount each week and become your own financier.
- The travel-and-tiredness-get-in-the-way-of-my-health CHALLENGE: a) Find a twenty minute workout you can do whether you are travelling or now. b) Decide you are going to work out four days a week. c) Work out half the time while you are on the road. d) Make sure to get the rest you need, but fit in your twenty minutes of exercise even when you are at home.
- The too-much-fighting-not-sure-about-forgiveness-marital CHALLENGE: a) Write out how you feel. b) communicate your feelings with your spouse calmly. c) Plan a few dates together. d) agree on how you will conduct yourself on the date and stick to it. e) decide how YOU will handle the possibility of fighting on the date and stick to it. f) consider reading helpful material, talking to a friend or seeking professional help.
- The I-want-to-change-careers-but-I’m freaked-out-by-it-all CHALLENGE: a) Put together your resume. b) Do some street research with your friends and online. c) Talk to a career counselor. d) try applying for something that is a little bigger than what you have so you can only go “up.” e) or, if you want to stay, talk to your boss about additional professional development.
I CHALLENGE you to an assignment!
Are you ready to tackle your challenges or are you ready to curl up by the fire with a nice, comfortable problem? Do you want to live with your fear or do you want to act? Whatever your situation is, you can change with specific and actionable steps. Here’s what I want you to do right now.
- On the top of a sheet of paper, I want you to write down one situation you would like to change. Just the facts.
- Now at the bottom of the same sheet of paper, write down the problems. Be really detailed and explain it all.
- In the middle, I want you to write ten ACTIONS you can engage in next week that could get you from where you are today to the place you want to be.
- Then, RIP OFF the bottom section where you wrote the problem and GET RID OF IT. I love to burn things but you might just need to really scrunch it up and throw it in to the garbage with a little gusto. While you are doing this, imagine you are getting rid of those man-made problems.
- Now, put some dates next to those action items and get started!
Look for more inspiration from Liz by watching Life Dare TV! Don’t be afraid, try a challenge of your own with the 30 Days of You community. Or, book Liz as a speaker for your organization with Nead Inspiration!
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