Bring Back French Kissing!

I discovered french kissing in sixth grade.  My parents were building a house twenty minutes away and I was put in charge of watching my sister (which is whole other blog).  I

watched through the broad window in the front room as the dark blue Buick Park Avenue slowly backed out of the driveway and pulled towards the stop sign at the end of the St. Stephens Street and then carefully turned the corner to drive out of sight.

After waiting an interminable five or six minutes to ensure they wouldn’t return, I made up some sort of activity to occupy my sister who would surely tell my parents about what I was about to do and I settled in the golden shag carpet inches away from the television.  They would be my favorite moments of that summer before junior high, diving into a world of hope and lost love between my favorite people in the whole world, Bo and Hope from the soap opera, “Days of Our Lives.”  The story lines were complicated enough for a twelve year old girl but it was the kissing that intrigued me the most.  So passionate and romantic.  I couldn’t wait to french kiss my husband.

Fast forward (almost) thirty years.  I have a husband that I can french kiss any time I want.  We have our own exciting and dramatic life with twists and turns no one would

believe.  We are still in love, something I cannot say for Bo and Hope at the moment but I also cannot say we french kiss all the time.

So why no french kissing?  You know the answer.  Life has become a series of to-do lists ranging from cleaning the baseboards to cleaning up my e-mail.  SCORING with my husband has been replace by worries about credit scores.  When I close my eyes and lose myself in good old fashioned making out, the oddest thing pop into my head.  Did I pay that bill?   Should I have written that in an e-mail? Should I….

The unstoppable parade of thoughts ruins french kissing completely.

The thing about passionately connecting with my husband is it requires my complete attention.  I cannot balance the rest of my life while I run my fingers through his soft close cut army cut.  Bo and Hope were not thinking about the demise of Hermann Cain during their hot embrace.  How can I enjoy one of the last simple pleasures in life if I can’t be in the moment?

That’s when I realized, I am avoiding doing things that require my complete attention because I am not living in the minute that exists right now.  I am so busy multi-tasking my life away, I have forgotten the pleasure of that softly lit existence I romanticized when I was 12.

And so, in the last few months of 2011, I have brought back french kissing and a few other things that require my full attention and revitalize my soul.  It turns out taking time to live in my own personal soap opera elicits a certain kind of creativity and calm that has been missing in the last few years.  The only thing each item has in common on the list?  You must exist in the present to fully enjoy them.

1. Walking outside for fifteen minutes without dogs, music or a destination.  If you

   

   haven’t noticed, the sky is absolutely amazing any time of the day or in any kind of weather.  It’s like have a vast and amazing ocean over your head.  Can you hear the noises of your humanity, the crunch of your shoes on the pavement, the gift of your breath leaving and returning to your lungs.  And, if you don’t buy any of that, Dr. Oz thinks you should do it!  Try it.  It was fun when you were ten and it probably hasn’t changed.

2. Daydreaming.  It was a forced exercise when I was young, people telling me to sit still until they needed me to do something.  It was amazing what I could envision; I went all over the world waiting for my mother to come out of the store carrying the ingredients for a fabulous dinner.  Web MD

   

   credits daydreaming with increased productivity, relaxation, resolving conflicts and even managing relationships!  Getting lost in your head, free of worries is a completely lovely experience with dividends far beyond meditation (in my opinion).

3. Dancing.  I was raised to think dancing was a somewhat perverse activity but the kind of dancing I am talking about is not particularly sexual, it’s just freeing.  The music moves your body and you become all one being,not splintered by activities and worries.  Dancing is reported to offset dementia and build bone and cardiovascular health.  Adding a little Duran Duran and Cindy Lauper just makes it fun for this “eighties” chick.
4. Naps.  I wish I could bring back those family-required Sunday naps that last two hours but I must save that for another iteration of personal development.  For now, when I am really tired, I sleep for ten minutes.  I leave an impossible situation and come back refreshed and ready to figure it all out.  How can you feel guilty when it is heart healthy AND helps you learn???
5. And last but not least, french kissing.  I’m not being perverted, kissing actually prevents saggy muscles AND can add years to your life!  I know, it may make some of you uncomfortable, but there’s a reason why Bo and Hope did it so much. It’s fabulous.

Look for more inspiration from Liz by watching Life Dare TV!  Don’t be afraid, try a challenge of your own with the 30 Days of You community.  Or, book Liz as a speaker for your organization with Nead Inspiration!