7 ways to give yourself permission to live your best life.

There are so many reasons why we don’t experience our vision every day and it’s not what you think. I hear the excuses almost daily, round and round, not only creating a safe space for bland and average same-ness but also designed to make you feel slightly guilty for the suggestion of a dream. Here are a few:

• It’s not my turn anymore. I’m just into my (usually the kids get the blame for this one).
• I’m just not that self-absorbed. Because it’s completely selfish to do anything good for yourself.
• My husband won’t do it with me.
• Who would do this if I left?

Reasons to NOT transform are part of the process of growth. Your body, your brain wants to operate efficiently. Just look at the way the blood pumps through your body, with measured strokes, body temperature always the same, lungs expanding and contracting with reassuring frequency.

I want to invite you to something!

The 180 Life Transformation Group!

It’s encouragement week in the 180 Life Transformation School! We are focusing on ways to tune into the frequency of abundance and success by accessing the reason we are here on the planet. My friends, we really aren’t here to be perfect, to pay our mortgages on time and get the perfect credit score (although all those things are very good). No, we are here to use our gifts for the benefit of our community! We were created for a reason, and there are limitless opportunities to help others and start a movement of love, forgiveness, empowerment, leverage and grace in the world. Go to the 180 Life Coaching Group on Facebook and find me. I want to know you! Love, Liz

And when you change it, running a temperature when you are sick or pushing yourself to run faster, your body breaks down, your mind demands answers. What are you doing? And when are you going to stop? We have a system set up here! We don’t like change.

Of course, some of the uncomfortable push back is just part of getting better. Trying new patterns. Testing possible strategies. Gutting it out through the unknown. And on the other side of the hazy fear is a stronger you and a new lease on life.

I created a video about the rules of vision, just as simple and straightforward as the theory of relativity or the process for getting stronger. Live by these five things and your purpose-driven life will rise up to meet you.

• If you are alive, it’s your turn.
• Everything is always better when you do your best.
• No one can grant you permission but you.
• It’s selfish NOT to pursue your best life.
• If you don’t pursue the best possibility for you, you are holding someone else’s spot.

There is a thread that ties all these excuses together— the main reason why people don’t embrace the better version of their life they can see. Permission. They haven’t given themselves permission to change. They can see the vision, they understand it will be better, they can even see a few possible actions to start down the journey, but there are certain things holding them back—thoughts, responsibilities and relationships—that keep them from making the next move.

Giving yourself permission is not a one-time thing. It’s a consistent practice, sometimes daily as resistance shows up in many forms. You know the pull backwards is there, it’s your job to plan for it.

During my first vision board experience, I had nothing but excuses. It was a recession. I was going through a foreclosure. I didn’t get along with my husband. I was ridiculously unhealthy. I had tons of children. I did’n’t have any money. The list goes on and on. I don’t think any of it would have happened (every life-long dream came to life in 120 days!) if I hadn’t created a power-permission statement. Just something to let me off the hook so I could be free to pursue what I KNEW was my best-purpose-driven  life. Here’s what it was:

Helping others succeed, will help me succeed.

That’s it. It wasn’t selfish. It wasn’t a bad move. It wasn’t wrong. As long as the investment in the possibilities were going to help others.

So if you can see your vision, and you have excuses in the way, let’s come up with a few POWER-PERMISSION-STATEMENTS to help you keep it moving.

• It’s not your turn.

Oh I get it folks. In many ways, my kids and I are actually competing for resources, particularly time and money. Yes they need new shoes, but I do too and sometimes,  it’s going to have to be me or I won’t be able to walk! It’s their turn to go to college. You may not have kids but you just feel dumb signing up for that technology course and so you watch the opportunity float by because you already had your chance to make mistakes. Sound familiar?

The truth is, if you can draw breath into your lungs, it’s your turn. Get this: when I returned from climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, my daughters slept in a tent in the backyard while I slept off my jet lag. I took 10 days out of the summer 2 years ago, and they remember how to be a powerful woman for a lifetime. If you are feeling this way, try this statements:

Taking my turn doesn’t hurt the people I love. It inspires them. It helps them!

• It’s selfish to go on these wild goose chases.

This is an excuse that comes up constantly, usually in the form of the question, “Who do you think you are?” Turn it back on yourself. Who do you think you are? Why are you here? Why were you given the opportunity to dream? Truth: you can be completely content in the now and pursue something better for you. In fact, I believe it’s the best way to honor everything good you have been given in your life. Try this statement on for size!

I’m grateful my life and I’m embracing every opportunity do good in this world.

I’m created for a purpose. It’s my job to embrace my best life every day.

• Someone is depending on me!

You are the vital cog. You have carefully constructed a life in which everyone depends on you to do your part. You feel utilized, important and close to burn out. Martyrdom looks amazing on the outside but feels like clothes that are a tiny bit too tight to feel totally comfortable. Am I right? Humans were built for community, so I get why we insert ourself into situations and try to make ourselves vital to the process. Just remember, there was a time when they didn’t know you and they were fine. And, if you move on to something more purpose-driven, they might miss you for a while, but they will be just fine. No one, and I  mean no one, is all that. If you are feeling stuck here, try this:

Every change leads to alignment. I resign as manager of the universe. (whew!)

• I don’t have the resources.

You are so right. You don’t have the time and the money for your vision. It’s being sucked up by your present life! Most likely, though, you don’t even know the financial or life-cost to make the change. Remember, we all have the same number of minutes and there are trillions and trillions of dollars floating around the planet. Why can’t some of it go towards your dream? It reminds me of those people who say they don’t have enough money to have a baby. Trust me, no one does—they are really expensive little leeches. But they are worth it and somehow, most of us figure out a way to do what we really want to do. If you are feeling scarce, try this these statements:

I always have space for what is best for me.

Everything I need for my best life will rise up to meet me.

• I don’t want to leave anyone behind.

This one is tough. As I dramatically changed my patterns, beliefs and responses to life in the last ten years, I have faced the fear I would lose my relationships, over and over. To be honest, I have left people behind, but not just my best friend or my husband. I also left myself behind in that relationship that wasn’t as empowered as I wanted it to be. Not drinking as much with my friends. Not fighting as hard with my husband. But as I left myself behind to claim the new me, they learned to live with “new Liz” and they can both say, she is better to hang around with. I had to have a little faith! Here are a few statements of faith for you:

Resign as manager of the universe and the director of other peoples’ lives once again.

I maintain my commitment to those I love. Living in excellence will make me better at supporting them.

• Others aren’t giving me permission to grow.

This is sort of related to my previous point. We go to the bathroom as a group and we stay in our disempowered present as a group too. My parents, however well-intentioned, did not give me permission to stop applying for employment and start my own business. My friends didn’t give me permission to shrink this belly fat once and for all. My husband didn’t give me permission to plan another adventure trip. This life is ultimately on me. And the ones that love me will eventually get on board.  It’s my job to steer this thing called MY LIFE. You relating to this fear? Try this:

My purpose and my best life can’t be contained. I am the only person who can grant me permission to change.

• You are so comfortable with your present life.

When I was 9, I visited my uncle and aunt in Bombay (now called Mumbai) and they were commiserating about their relationship with my cousin. She has a heart of gold and a love for disadvantaged people, particularly those who lived on what an only be called a garbage dump just outside the city. My well-meaning dad, and her parents asked her why these people didn’t move somewhere else and she tried to explain, that the disgusting, smelly dump, was their home. Your present life is the devil you know. So you stick with it. And, you wonder whether you would actually like your new life anyway. What if you wanted to go back? Here are a few statements when you are feeling stuck:

You have all the answers for your new questions. You are ready to embrace your life of change in all its aspects.

Remember, my friend, change is inevitable anyway. Vision is really about taking responsibility for directing it. There are no guarantees that your vision will look and feel the way you imagined, but there is one thing you can count on. You WILL change for the better no matter what, if you are traveling that purpose-drive journey to your best life!

Do you want to finish the year strong? Check out the 100 day journey, designed to create moment for your next move. Go to liznead.com/100days/