5 reasons you aren’t getting what you want.

 

Here are FIVE reasons you aren’t getting what you want.

There really isn’t anything wrong with you. But you are going to have to stop doing a few things. Read on:

• You refuse to learn the lesson.

Do you remember learning to ride a bike? Of course you could be the rare type of person who learned on the first try, but for most of us, it was a process. And adult took off those training wheels and then holding on to the back of your seat, pushed your bike, running alongside you as they urged to pump the pedals. At one moment, they let go and then it was up to you to hold those handle bars, going faster and faster and remember to break, without falling.

You fell a few times.

If you didn’t figure out why you were falling (the rate of speed, the touchiness of the handlebars) you probably still don’t know how to ride a bike. But if you learned what behaviors needed to be cut out, and what worked, you figured it out and then, you could fly.

There is a lesson in every undesirable outcome. Perhaps you need to adjust the kind of people who hang around. You must learn to listen. Or, you need to change out the conversation in your head. Could be you need a different kind of career or you aren’t really cut out to run your own business. If you don’t listen, you won’t get better and you will be stuck on this problem for a very long time. You see, you never outgrow challenges, they just change as you learn and grow. Learning how to LISTEN to your life, learn from the successes and the disappointments is the only way to move forward and get a little closer to your vision-driven life.

• You have a case of the “have-to-be’s”

Do you remember playing with someone who always had to be in charge? What about the kid who had to be the all-time quarterback? After a while, if you weren’t a complete and utter sheep, you found someone else to play with. It’s hard to have fun around that kind of person.

If you have a set of conditions, requirements if you will, in order to play big in your life, it’s likely you won’t be able to experience what you want. If you HAVE to feel pretty and know the most and never feel dumb, you cannot give yourself the kind of rope you need to develop and succeed. First, full control is not the best environment to learn (see my first point). Second, your goal to succeed is taken over by your goal to “look” successful. They are entirely two different paths.

True, sustainable success requires authenticity and a willingness to sacrifice the way you look, in order to move into experiencing what you want.

• You always ask yourself to prove it.

Have you ever heard a kid say, “No way! Prove it.” That’s the rule of the playground. Don’t take anyone’s word for it. It’s not real until we have all seen it for ourselves. Only a chump would believe, sight unseen.

If you can see the possibility of your best life, then it exists. It’s not impossible because it’s already conceptual. And, it’s very likely you have the inherent talent and ability to learn what you need to achieve that possibility, the vision of your dreams. Yet as you go along your journey, while you are dating, or starting the business, or working to increase your fitness level, you ask yourself to “prove” your worthiness. It shows up when you make a mistake and you tell yourself, “see, I knew you couldn’t handle it.” Or, when your date does something dumb and you think, “I knew this was too good to be true.” You are the worst kind of friend to you: just waiting for failure and requiring years of action to “prove” this is real.

If you can do something good, you can do something good again. Expect to fall off the wagon. And, expect you will get back up. You deserve your best life. That’s all you need to know.

• You glamorize how it will happen.

Do you remember watching the Olympics and wanting to be like that for a minute? Standing on the podium, in front of your adoring country, bowing slightly to accept your gold medal? I did and it seemed so awesome, until I had to get up early a few days in a row. It was so tantalizing until I had to convince my parents I was serious. A moment of doubt and I was out. It looked good but only that moment.

It is glamorous to speak to thousands or fill up a coaching course. I like pulling on a pair of skinny jeans and have them fit just right. It’s great to celebrate sixteen years with someone. And while getting there doesn’t HAVE to hard, there are always less-than-fun moments along the way. Maybe your vision IS to win gold or get skinny or live in the mansion. I think that is awesome, but if you aren’t willing to get dirty when no one is watching, you are probably NOT going to get there.

• You think the circus in your head is real.

 

I got an active brain. I really do. I can have entire conversations with my husband without him. No kidding. I imagine entire worlds, no universes every day. What people are thinking, what would happen if I actually experienced various scenarios, what could have happened if I had done things differently. It’s both frightening and delicious all at the same time.

Your brain is a powerful tool, the most powerful you have. But if you aren’t careful, your mind can turn on you, and you will start to believe your thoughts are your life. They aren’t. You might be worried about your lights getting shut off. Until it happens, it’s just a story in your head! Remember those words…until it happens.

You won’t get anywhere if you live in your head. Learn to tap into your powerful vision, but experience what life has to offer. Work the problems in the now. Leave the fantasies for your dreams.